dreaming of this summer...
I usually try to set one goal for the summer, and I spend the dreary days of early spring preparing for it. It makes these rainy, cold days go by much faster becuase I am so distracted by the fun!
I started this the first year we were married because I grew so cranky in early spring, and didn't want to subject Dave to that anymore. The snow isn't ski-able anymore, and there's nothing really to do besides stay indoors and mindfully will the calendar to turn.
The first two years we were married, I worked on my graphic design business & set the goal to participate in a few art fairs around the state, selling some fun stationery with my designs. Dave & I had so much fun with this. He would come with me and set up my booth, and even helped me sell when it got busy. We would go on these mini-road trips to cute little towns across the state. If we made back my booth fee, material costs, & gas, we were happy. If we made enough to get a beer afterwards, even better!
Last year, my big goal was to prepare for our first child. We moved into a new home, remodeled a bit, and decorated before Cash was born. The rest of the summer was spent lazily enjoying our bundle. Best. Summer. Ever.
Now I'm finding myself wanting a little project to work on this spring. Should we add an animal to the farm? Maybe a lamb or some chickens? No - I can already feel the dirty looks Dave is giving me for even thinking about this. We have our hands full with baby animals for now. (but would he really make me return a fluffy, fleecy, baby lamb if somehow one appeared in the barn one day?) I probably shouldn't test it. Better wait until Cash can say, "Daddy, I want a 'baa-baa'!" Methinks Dave will be powerless. ;)
I had thought about the project a bit during late summer last year.
I'll be working out the initial kinks today and tomorrow. Hopefully I can pull it off. More on this later.

February is always an interesting month.
The holidays are well over, and I've fully recovered from them. Once I'm into February I get a little introspective about where I'm going this year. One of my frustrations this February is that in true form to becoming a new mom, I've let some of my passions slip. This comes as no surprise - I just don't have the time to be crafty like I used to be. That's ok. I've done enough creating this year. (ahem... I crafted a person).
But one passion I've let go that I just can't be ok with is my love for music. That's one thing Dave and I share together. We love music. We love old stuff, new stuff, and new stuff that sounds like old stuff. I'm always so fascinated that after all these years, artists are still creating great soundtracks for our lives. We particularly enjoy music that is just a bit off the mainstream. I found an online radio station that has been independent and playing great indie & punk artists for over 20 years. I faithfully listened, and even contributed some of our own hard earned dollars occasionally to become a member.
Over past year, I slowly stopped listening.
Now, I've given a gift to myself: to spend some time every day paying attention to this interest.
I hope that in some way this is also a gift for Cash. I hope he enjoys music just as much as we do. However, chances are that he will reject anything we like. That's going to be rough for him, considering Mom & Dad are da bomb!

what I'm listening to now: M. Ward's new release "Hold Time".
Lucinda Williams appears, and makes the sound even more haunting.

Pantene: you've done me wrong again...
I know better than this!
My head is in a bad place right now. I'm always sucked in by the initial feel of a pantene hair day. Boy - that first wash is some kind of illegal high. My hair is amazing for about two weeks, and then it all goes terribly wrong. Somehow, after two weeks, half my head decides to go straight, and the other half curly, - thus there being no possibility of an easy wash and go. So I spend another week using heat styling, further damaging my strands. Then, does the shampoo & conditioner simply decide that they will no longer rinse out with water? The wax left on my hair after each shower is comparable to what I've experienced when backpacking for a week with no access to a shower. I swear, I'm a clean gal! But my hair is not saying the same thing. It says, "here! look at this new mom who doesn't shower and forgot how to do her hair!"
So I've got this wax buildup, that after some googling, I've found is rather common with Pantene. Great - now what? I think I'll be seeing my stylist for a much needed cut soon, so I'll see what she has to say. I was hoping to avoid the salon for a bit yet b/c I'm trying to grow it out, and keep it in my wallet, but this can't go on any further. Even worse, is that the wax coating is drawing attention to my sad grown out highlight roots. This was pure impulsiveness, when I tried to highlight my hair on my own. Completely uneven now, and very much in need of a professional update. Let's just add some more $$ to that bill.
(yes, I know there are worse injustices in the world than my bad hair. I'm very thankful to have hair to go bad. Good thing it's going to be hat weather at least until I get in with my gal.)
note to future self: Pantene - don't go there!

Green Cleening...
Yes - my housewife, stay at home mom self is posting about cleaning. When first married, I went out to Target and picked up my arsenol of cleaning products. If there was a surface to be cleaned, I bought the specific chemical to clean it. 409 - check. Drainol - check. Windex - check. Ammonia - check. Bleach - check.
Once every two weeks, I spent an entire Saturday cleaning our little apartment. I had my cleaning clothes, bleach spotted and only used for this purpose. I put on some cheery music to keep up my energy ob/c cleaning always made me tired. By 2pm, that house was spotless, I have to say. There was not an organism living in that place besides Dave, myself and our first pets, Fish & Chips, two goldfish. Plus, the place smelled "clean", whatever that means....
Once I decided to stay at home and work on my business and eventually start a family, we needed to cut corners. Ramen noodles became a staple, and I soon realized how much money we were dropping on cleaning products. I would have to say we'd go through a bottle of 409 at least every two weeks. Why? b/c I sprayed it on EVERYTHING!!! I'll give it it's credit: 409 really does work. It will get any stain out, but in turn it just might also make you a little lightheaded. My sister had been using natural cleaning products for some time, so I enlisted her help. I assumed that in order to clean my home naturally, I'd be spending the same amount of time cleaning on Saturday, plus a day over a cauldron mixing my potions. Not so. I learned that Vinegar, Baking Soda, Castile Soap & a little essential oil would clean every nook & cranny of my home, not to mention that none of them, save the essential oil would kill a man if ingested. (essential oil won't kill you, but it's not salad dressing either...). Fast forward 3 years, and no longer am I spending my entire Saturday scrubbing my home. What do I do? Every day of the week, I clean one category. One day is toilets, one day is glass, one day is sweeping, one day is kitchen... you get the idea. And EVERY day is laundry day! lol! Anyways, i keep a spray bottle of a mix of water and vinegar & a shaker of baking soda under every sink. The vinegar & water is a surface wash, and the baking soda is a scrub. There is nothing I can't clean with the combination of these 3 ingredients. The castille soap and essential oil I use when necessary, and keep those on top of the fridge so my boy can't get at them. Cleaning has become so much less of a chore, and I can clean in my regular clothes b/c guess what? No harsh chemicals here! Also, I don't feel exhausted after cleaning! Actually, it energizes me to have a portion of my home clean! (Turns out that all the chemicals I was previously using, were making me tired!)
With a crawling 8 month old, it really gives me peace of mind that we don't house chemicals in this house. There's nothing he can ingest that will hurt him. True, if he drinks the vinegar, he probably won't be a happy little guy, but there are no calls to poison control in our future.
All that being said, the only thing missing from our home in this cleaning practice, is the "clean smell". There is no pine fresh smell after I clean this house. Turns out that "clean" doesn't have a smell. The scents were added to the chemicals to make the buyer crave the clean smell in his/her home, and buy more. In my home, there's no plain indication that our place is indeed clean, other than the old fashioned white glove test. And to be honest, I often fail this one. But I'm happy with the overall state of my home, and I'm confident that Cash is being raised in the healthiest environment possible.
for more information on green cleaning with vinegar, visit the vinegar institute:
http://www.versatilevinegar.org/

What I'm reading -
Last night, Dave offered to take over bedtime with Cash so I could do something completely on my own. I decided to head to Borders in Brown Deer and spend some time browsing, guilt free. No to-do lists. No getting back in time for a nap. Just a few hours to look at books by myself. Could there be anything better?
I spend about a half hour wandering. It became painfully obvious to me and the store clerks that I had no idea what I was looking for. Maybe a new magazine - no, mostly ads in there, and I'm trying to save money. How about fiction? no - my brain doesn't have the attention to put towards someone else's drama. I found myself in the kid's section, looking for fun books for Cash, and I had to tear myself away b/c that was not the intent of the night at all! I would not shop for my son. This was adult time. Then I found myself in the sports section, looking for a birthday gift for Dave. I had to slap myself. No! I shouldn't be shopping for Dave. I should be looking for something inspirational for ME!!! Why is it sooooo darn hard for women to take some time just for themselves? I learned today that it's THE GUILT. All the roles we have make it difficult to simply find the time to change those hats. Might as well try to balance them all on the top of our heads, nay we take one off and God forbid, let something be neglected for a few seconds!!
Anyways, I ended up in the humor section which I usually enjoy. Something quirky and off the wall would definitely do the trick - it always does. I decided on this: http://www.amazon.com/Year-Living-Biblically-Literally-Possible/dp/0743291484/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1234968005&sr=8-1
I start a bible study this week, so I thought this would be of interest, and might parallel. Hopefully it doesn't criticize the bible too much - I'm pretty sure that's not the intent anyways, just a social experiment. He spends the year living the bible's teachings literally. At first, this seems like a honorable quest. Who wouldn't want to be more biblical? He really gets into it, and there are so many obscure teachings about not wearing mixed fibers, and there is a hint that he will have to literally stone an adulterer. Should be interesting!
I'll post a review when I'm finished.

Going Digital Today
We went ahead and picked up a digital converter box for our TV months and months ago. However it doesn't do us much good if it isn't hooked up, huh? I'm going to let Dave be the captain of this mission b/c I really feel ambivalent about TV. If it's on, I'll watch, if not, I'm not too torn up. Any of the TV watching we do is from Netflix, so it's really not that big of a deal if we don't have a signal, in my opinion. Even though I don't spend much time in front of the TV, I really love watching movies or episodes on DVD.
Lately we've been really into Mad Men. It's such a fascinating show. Most of our fascination lies in wondering if life really was like that in the '60s. So much of the knowledge we have now about everyday dangers we take for granted. For example, there is this scene where the daughter is playing "space aliens" by putting a dry cleaning bag over her head as a "space suit". Her mother spots her, and is irate! ...but not why you'd think she should be. She's more concerned about the dry cleaning being strewn all over the floor than her daughter's head being trapped under a plastic bag. There are so many things in this show that make you think, "boy - we know a lot more now". Kinda makes you think what our grandkids will think about our generation, huh? What are some things we do now without a thought that will make future generations wonder where our brains are?

At Least Someone is Sleeping Around Here...
Dave can't sleep because he has a raging demon in his lower back.
Cash isn't sleeping through the night anymore. Teething? Not back to his sleeping patterns after being away for a week? I don't know for sure.
I'm not sleeping because these two aren't sleeping.
After feeding Cash dinner last night at 6pm, I had to get up to wet a washcloth to wash his face. In the 30 seconds I was at the sink, he had managed to soothe himself to sleep. Seriously!?!?!? Are you kidding me, kid? Is this the same boy who wakes up screaming in the middle of the night because his pinky toe is uncomfortable, and may I please pick him up, nurse him for a half hour, and lay him down ever so gently so that he might fall asleep for an hour and then we can do it all over again because he thinks maybe there is a stray eyelash that is tickling his cheek?
Yep - he fell asleep in his peas. Nothing sweeter.